Temporary Roles

Temporary Roles


I was recently reading “A New Earth” by Eckhart Tolle and he was touching on the subject of the roles we play in life.  The topic that really struck me was the idea of temporary roles.  These are roles and personality shifts we do when in situations that we don’t feel completely comfortable being ourselves in.  Here is a passage from that chapter

“If you are awake enough, aware enough, to be able to observe how you interact with other people, you may detect subtle changes in your speech, attitude, and behavior depending on the person you are interacting with. At first, it may be easier to observe this in others; then, you may also detect it in yourself. 

The way in which you speak to the chairman of the company may be different in subtle ways from how you speak to the janitor. How you speak to a child may be different from how you speak to an adult. Why is that? You are playing roles. You are not yourself, neither with the chairman nor with the janitor or the child. When you walk into a store to buy something, when you go to a restaurant, the bank, the post office, you may find yourself slipping into pre-established social roles. You become a customer and speak and act as such. And you may be treated by the salesperson or waiter, who is also playing a role, as a customer. 

A range of conditioned patterns of behavior come into effect between two human beings that determine the nature of the interaction. Instead of human beings, conceptual mental images are interacting with each other. The more identified people are with their respective roles, the more inauthentic the relationships become.

You have a mental image not only of who the other person is, but also of who you are, especially in relation to the person you are interacting with. So you are not relating with that person at all, but who you think you are is relating to who you think the other person is and vice versa. The conceptual image your mind has made of yourself is relating to its own creation, which is the conceptual image it has made of the other person. The other person’s mind has probably done the same, so every egoic interaction between two people is in reality the interaction between four conceptual mind-made identities that are ultimately fictions. It is therefore not surprising there is so much conflict in relationships. There is no true relationship.”

This made me think beyond how we create these roles with other people but how we create the roles in how we interact with ourselves.  How often do we live our lives based on the age we are, what is appropriate for this age and how we see ourselves at this age?  How about when money isn’t coming in as fast as the bills are piling up?  We don’t feel good about these situations and feel unsuccessful which then correlates to how we value ourselves.  The same can happen when a relationship is deteriorating and without that love the love for ourselves is lacking.

All of these situations are temporary situations that create temporary roles and temporary views of ourselves.  Yet we let it define and steer us on our current path.  How can you expect someone to treat you a certain way when you can’t do that for yourself?  How can you attract a more abundant life, a happy relationship, a feeling of confidence when the role you have chosen is not in alignment with the role you want to play?

This concept goes back to what Eckhart discussed in how we interact with others.  If you treat the bank teller like a person who is there just to serve you, that you cannot relate to or interact with except for transactions, how can you be your true self if you temporarily leave your true self?  Your true self should always be present in the present moment.  Just as easy as it is to say something nice or crack a joke to the teller its just as easy to shift the view of yourself in situations you feel you can’t be your true self in.  Your true self doesn’t feel anger, sadness, disappointment in yourself so, why should you be temporarily blinded to how you should be interacting with yourself.

Temporary Role Play Exercise

An easy exercise to do when you are feeling less than adequate or not treating yourself kindly is to put what is bothering you into a role, give it a sex possibly a name and interact with it on a temporary basis.  Let’s say you are broke and overwhelmed with debt, let’s name the debt Bob.  You probably don’t feel too good about yourself because of the situation you are in with Bob.  To help guide you out of that situation you need to feel better about yourself to then be able to find a solution to Bob.  Let’s put Bob into a role as a person you are interacting with.  When faced with Bob you probably wouldn’t want to be best friends with him, take him out for a drink or even tell him your deepest secrets.  You probably feel threatened by Bob, resentful and intimidated.

This is where you can shift your attitude towards this debt role.  See him as an equal, see him as someone you could interact with that isn’t defined as having sway over you.  When you see Bob as equal as someone that can’t harm you, someone that values your opinion Bob isn’t so hard to talk to and interact with anymore.  You can then begin to see Bob as a temporary situation that you have control in changing.  You can shift your attitude towards Bob to something more productive and less damaging.  In that moment you are being your true self and able to attract a more positive manifestation which will help you resolve what you felt was self limiting.  You can then say thanks Bob for the chat time for me to go and shift your attention away from his presence.


Rapid Manifestation

Rapid Manifestation


There are those desires we have be it for more money, a relationship, a career milestone.  These long term desires can be asked for by your desire and thought alone.  They then await their completion when you have done the work to believe them to be true, feel them as if they are here now and for when you are ready to allow them to happen.

There are then those desires that happen at a rapid pace.  That perfect day where everything seems to go right or where you head out and things happen the way you intended.  This is the concept of rapid manifestation.  These are desires that cycle from a thought/desire state to a realization in a manner of hours, minutes even seconds.

You seem to be at the right place at the right time.  Everything falls into place and what you planned for your day unfolds exactly the way you wanted it to.  This happens when you are fully connected your true self, which is certain and without doubt.

Have you noticed when this happens how great you feel, what an amazing time it was and how looking back on it the memories are vivid and fulfilling?  That is because you feeling a passion or a desire and trusting it completely causes it to manifest just as quickly.

Say you go a trip and want to see certain sites and be with certain people and it happens exactly as you wanted.  You go out on this trip and you are 100% sure these are the activities you want to complete and you go into them knowing they will happen and because you are so certain of them you enjoy them without worry or doubt.  It can be as simple as going to the beach and knowing you want to swim in the ocean.  You don’t doubt you can go at 1pm to the beach and be in the ocean within a few minutes of laying your towel out.  That certainty and that desire and you acting on your desire is you fully connected to your true self.

Doubt and worry if the weather will be good, will the water be warm, will I find parking would deter  you from having that perfect day at the beach.  Imagine using that same certainty for your bigger desires believing they can happen as easily as you walking from your towel to the water to swim?  Approach that desire with the certainty that it is possible just the same as a smaller desire.  When you get to that point you will see the rapid manifestation of desires being completed as fast as you can create them as thoughts.

Passion is the fuel for the desire and certainty is the vehicle to take you to the destination which is the manifestation point.  If your desire is strong enough for action the method appears.  Only when you are ready to allow the completion of your desire does the method of action become available.

The universe provides the means for it to happen and your action is the process of you responding to your desires with the intention of completion.


Focus Wheel

Focus Wheel

I love using the focus wheel to change my point of attraction and start manefesting what I am desiring.

You can download or print this focus wheel here focus wheel

It is good to meditate and clear your mind fully before doing this focus wheel.  Remember to only write positive statements in each box to get to where you want to be.  For example I can write in box #1 “I don’t want to be alone”. Then write in box #2 “I want a healthy loving relationship”.

Knowing that’s what I don’t want and knowing what I do want, along the trail lets write down what I do want: “I want to love myself more to love another person”, “I do have good relationships”, “I am worthy of a healthy relationship” …

Don’t take a break and focus on each while in a meditative state.  You will notice by the time you finish you can write in how you feel now has vibrationally changed since you filled out box #1.  You can then go about your day remembering the trail and putting that energy out which then changes your point of attraction.



I am Introduction

I am Introduction


One of the biggest changes I’ve done in the past year is the concept of how to use the two words “I am”.  I was introduced to it by Wayne Dyer in his book Wishes Fulfilled.  I then started reading the I am Discourses which I will do a full post on soon.

This video has some of the best spiritual authors and how I am has worked for them as well.