What are affirmations and how can you use them to heal your past?
Below is an excerpt from my upcoming book “Falling in Love with Your True Self – Using self love to have healthier relationships, attract more abundance and finding your Divine Purpose”.
What are affirmations?
An affirmation can be described as any encouraging statement that is affirmative or believed to be true. Affirmations are a way to overcome the subconscious mind that often tells us something bad will happen, that we need to focus on the past and that we don’t deserve happiness. Think of affirmations as your spiritual boot camp drill sergeant who you know wouldn’t want you to eat that slice of cake but wouldn’t punish you for it either. “I WILL LOVE MYSELF MORE YES, DRILL SERGEANT”! He’s there to help you get into spiritual shape and feel better about yourself but only when you were ready to allow his help.
Earlier we worked on an exercise of using past statements and turning them into affirmations that can help you move past those experiences. Affirmations can be a strong tool in your self love toolbox. They are accessible at any time and can be tailored to your specific situation. To be fully effective they should to be believed and practiced from a place of certainty.
The idea of believing something when you feel you are in a place of complete opposition to the affirmation can be plain difficult to comprehend. While your spiritual drill sergeant wants you to feel better and sees that you have the choice to be happy sometimes we want to tell him “listen you’re crazy and this one slice of cake won’t hurt”. The reality is when we are in that place of not feeling good about ourselves, the self loathing can feel safe and even comfortable to many people. This is where the old adage “fake it till you make it” can be the solution. Just as when you put effort, thought and repetition into feeling bad about yourself the same can happen by repeating an affirmation.
A great way to accomplish this is to write your affirmations out onto a sticky note and place it somewhere you will see it often. I like to put these notes in my wallet, on the bathroom mirror, and even on my dashboard in my car. At times when I wouldn’t think to read the affirmation it’s there in my daily life to remind me of something positive. Even if I don’t feel I’m in the emotional state of that affirmation the constant presence of it in my daily life slowly expands into my present conscious beliefs through repetition.
Having it on your bathroom mirror serves another purpose, it allows you to see yourself repeating the affirmation. This might seem silly at first and can even feel uncomfortable but as you do it more the image of yourself exposed only to yourself and stating something positive about yourself helps you move into that feeling wholeheartedly. If you feel uncomfortable doing the mirror work laugh at yourself in the mirror be silly, make faces and try reading the affirmation again.
When you laugh you are more connected to your true self. Your true self is never unhappy, worried or sad. When you are laughing, passionate about something and fully open to an experience , that is your true self coming through. Affirmations are a way for you experience what your true self has waiting for you that you haven’t actualized yet because of resistance. When you experience joy and laughter you take away the power your ego has over you achieving the affirmation. Faking it till you make it is a tool to overcome a strong ego but the reality is when you connect to your true self there is no faking it, you can only experience well being.
Before we go into how to use affirmations it’s important to understand how to create them and which ones can serve you the best. While an affirmation can be anything that encourages positive feeling within yourself for the purpose of self love it should be focused on just the self. If we write out affirmations about someone else influencing your life you shift that self love energy into one that is dependent on another’s feelings or thoughts. An example would be “I am at peace with who I am” vs “Others see that I am at peace with myself”. When it comes to self healing affirmations you should focus your feelings to just the way you want to feel about yourself.
When you come up with the affirmations that can help you the most I encourage you to think of where you are lacking self love in your current emotional state. If you put a lot of thought into past relationships focus your affirmations on how you are in relation to yourself. If financial issues plague your daily thoughts create affirmations based on financial security. The affirmations you choose should be simple and short so you can set the vibration of that belief without too much effort.
The other important thing to know when creating affirmations is how you use the words “I AM”. Often I hear people describe themselves as “I am sad”, “I am broke”, “I am fat”. When you say I am anything you are sending out a message not only to others but to yourself of how you feel about yourself. Anytime you say “I AM,” you are creating your reality. The reality is you are never sad, broke or fat you are just experiencing that emotion or belief but you are not those things. One can experience sadness but one is not the essence of sadness. Sadness does not define who you truly are as a person. When you say I am sad you are allowing yourself to believe you are that sadness and you are sending a vibration of attracting more sadness. The words I AM are one of the most powerful two words you can use. There are many books based on the I AM theory which can be traced back to the name God told Moses he was when asked from the burning bush. For the purpose of this book and in relation to affirmations lets focus on keeping the words that follow I AM as something positive and uplifting.
Knowing now that we can write affirmations hat focus on our own self love, that we use only positive words after I AM, it’s also important to finish the affirmation with words that bring that feeling of certainty. An example of this can be “I AM happy” vs “I AM happy no matter what”. The second affirmation leaves no room for doubt and doesn’t allow uncertainty when you are allowing yourself to believe the affirmation. Certainty is a feeling we want to allow into our thoughts whenever we are coming from a place of self love. When there is no wavering in your belief of how you feel about yourself its an incredible place to be.
Using affirmations to let go of past thinking
Knowing the power of affirmations, lets start to create ones that can help you let go of those thoughts of past mistakes or experiences that are holding you back so you can move into a more joyous present moment. Start with affirmations that relate to the things that you worry about most or that you haven’t been able to move past.
Let’s use the example of a past relationship you haven’t been able to move on from. We could use the tools I suggested earlier and create affirmations that allow you to feel better about yourself and that don’t focus too much on what isn’t in your current life.
“I AM at peace with my past relationships and ONLY attract people that are aligned with my best self”
This affirmation you can see doesn’t focus on what went wrong, name the person you haven’t moved on from and brings in a feeling of certainty with the word ONLY while utilizing a positive I AM statement. If we were to say “I AM at peace with my breakup from Bob” you would be bringing in the energy of that person while you could be attracting healing and self love to yourself that shouldn’t be affected by Bob anymore. Bob obviously didn’t make you feel too great so why attract more of that energy into your life. If you were to say “I AM at peace with not feeling abandoned” you are attracting a feeling that you could be abandoned by another person or reliving that feeling of abandonment that you allowed yourself to feel in the past. The goal of affirmations are to bring about a better feeling than where you currently stand in relation to the emotion you want to feel.
Once you have your affirmations created write them down on sticky notes or even type them on your mobile device and set a reminder throughout the day that alerts you of the affirmation. I like to set alarm reminders and put the affirmations as the note in the alarm. I have a sticky note on my bathroom mirror that changes week to week but reminds me of how I would like to feel. The first day I have the affirmation up I can read it out loud but don’t always belief it immediately. I find that after days of reading it and feeling it to be true that it becomes a core belief and allows me to attract that statement into my life more easily. I encourage you to start to believe the affirmations you write out for it to really effect you in a positive way and to heal from what’s holding you back in life.