The 10 Self Empowerment Tools: #3 Others Thoughts Don’t Matter

The 10 Self Empowerment Tools: #3 Others Thoughts Don’t Matter

The 10 Self Empowerment Tools are a collection of tools you can use to live a more self-empowered life.  When you are in a place of happiness, your whole life takes shape.  Love, joy, success and fulfillment all become realities in your life.  In this 10 step guide I will reveal the tools to live a happy, loving, positive thinking life using the concept of self-love.  This path to happiness is available to anyone.  The only thing needed to achieve it, is the desire.

The third tool for self empowerment is your perception of what other people think of you.

What other people think of you has nothing to do with you and everything to do with their thoughts

To illustrate, let’s use an example of what you could consider was a bad day.  You overslept, then on your commute into work you hit tons of traffic.  When you get to work your boss bombards you with meetings and work that put you in an even worse mood.  Your lunch order was incorrect and you feel run down.  This domino effect of bad things is for another topic but lets just say you’ve had a crummy day.

You then have dinner plans with a friend.  At dinner your friend tells you all about her new love interest and wants your advice.  Thinking to yourself you think how he doesn’t seem right for her or maybe this new relationship is a waste of her time.  You’ve had two failed relationship in the past few years and are feeling cynical towards dating.  Possibly, you don’t want to see her spending all her time with someone new and ignoring you.  So, you let her know she’s making a mistake or that she’s always made bad mistakes.  To this friend who valued your opinion you’ve now just let them know what you thought based on your mood and your point of view based on your experiences not theirs.  This opinion while it feels right to you might not be right for her.  Only you know what is right for you.  If she has a poor sense of self and doesn’t trust her choices, this news hits her hard.

If you were to step back and look at this interaction from the outside you’d see:

  • You’ve had a bad day and your opinion’s based on this mood.
  • You’ve had two failed relationships and you’re giving your advice from this perspective.
  • You aren’t her and haven’t made the same choices she’s made.
  • She is asking for advice because she’s uncertain in her own decisions.

When we look at it like this, you see what someone else thinks has nothing to do with you and more to do with them.  Opinions and thoughts about others originate from their mood and their situation.  These opinions change from moment to moment.  Someone could think bad things about someone and then that changes depending on their mood.  How can you base how you feel about yourself on something so temporary and uncertain?  Someone could think every day they hate the rain but another could love a rainy day.

The same belief is true about positive thoughts directed towards you.  How true are these thoughts if you don’t believe them to be true?  You could think you are bad at your job but someone lower down in the company dreams about the position you are in.  They could think how great it must be for you to have succeeded.  Does this make it true for you if they tell you you are successful, that you are talented to have gotten to this position, if you don’t believe them?  Others thoughts are just that thoughts not realities of who you are good or bad.

Habits of the same thoughts create habits of the same opinions

When you live your life knowing these outside opinions good or bad do not define you, you will appreciate the decisions you make.  How you feel about yourself and your choices are a good indicator for how you view yourself.  If you don’t trust your choices how can anyone else think you’ve made good choices.  When we look at how we feel about ourselves its best to exclude what anyone else thinks.

  • only you know what is appropriate for you
  • how you feel about yourself should always originate from what you feel is true about you

This doesn’t mean interacting with others doesn’t shape our experiences and that we are to ignore all outside influences.  When two people secure in who they are combine, be it in a romantic relationship or in any endeavor that combination creates something new and exciting.  Two opposite experiences and thought processes coming together create something that couldn’t happen on its own.  This is the joy of individuality coming together and inventing new ideas.  If you go out seeking different opinions you are then expanding your view based on the desire to evolve not the devolution of your self worth based on outside influences.  I encourage you to expand your ideas and learn from others.  Life is about expansion and growth but do it from a place of certainty and confidence.  Offer your opinions with the same confidence in yourself while respecting the views of others.

So, you say to yourself how do I feel 100% certain in myself, interact with others and not see a comparison? It is one of those paradoxes where you must experience it to know the answer.  What I like to practice is a feeling of equality.  You can’t go out into the world feeling you are better than others and offer positive interactions with these people.  The same is true if you feel you are lesser than anybody else.  Starting on an even playing field, believing everyone is equal sets you up to succeed not only in your view of yourself but that of others.  You then aren’t judging people based on your opinions and they aren’t offering the same in return.  It will be more about sharing of ideas and experiences from a more positive self-empowered place.  Try it, tell yourself you are equal to all and all are equal to you.  That their opinion good or bad doesn’t affect who you are and how you feel about yourself.  Watch as your confidence grows and you attract more confident positive people into your life.

The 10 Self Empowerment Tools: #2 Expectations

The 10 Self Empowerment Tools: #2 Expectations

The 10 Self Empowerment Tools are a collection of tools you can use to live a more self-empowered life.  When you are in a place of happiness, your whole life takes shape.  Love, joy, success and fulfillment all become realities in your life.  In this 10 step guide I will reveal the tools to live a happy, loving, positive thinking life using the concept of self-love.  This path to happiness is available to anyone.  The only thing needed to achieve it, is the desire.

The second tool for self empowerment is the power of your expectations.  When you look up the word expectation in the dictionary it is defined as:

“a strong belief that something will happen or be the case in the future.”

The keywords here are “strong belief”, “will happen” and “in the future”.  How you expect any situation in your life to unfold is the intended path you place yourself on emotionally.  If we follow the law of attraction which states that like attracts like then we can say:

What you expect in your life attracts that expectation based on your strong belief it will happen.

Expectations are influenced usually by a belief you hold.  Beliefs are habits of thoughts based on how things have worked out on any subject in your life.  This is where it gets tricky.  If you have habits of thought something will happen in a certain way, that is probably how it will turn out.  When you are practicing a belief and are sending out the energy of this belief, it can’t be a shock when your desire didn’t pan out the way you hoped.  You can’t attract amazing beautiful things in your life if you hold a belief you either don’t deserve them or they rarely happen for you.  Law of attraction works by matching your emotions to the things you would like to experience.

Given that you would like to manifest your desires sooner than later you have to choose to shift your energy to match your expectation.  Instead of basing your expectations on beliefs lets practice expectations based on desire.  The best way to practice this is to experiment with general expectations.  The reason you want to use a general desire is that specific manifestations happen when you are in a place to allow them into your life.  If your expectations haven’t matched your desires, going general is a much easier place to begin.  Going general around a subject is a fast way to shift your emotional response to something that isn’t working in your life.

The first step in going general is to find what is working in your life.  Everybody has something that works for them.  It can be as trivial as waking up every morning.  Maybe you are the type that always lands the job.  You could be a fantastic cook or you are talented at sports.  Find that one thing you don’t worry about that you feel is a certainty in your life.  It could be your family, your job, your talents or even your view of yourself.  Once you have identified what is working, focus on how it feels.  Do you recognize the certainty related to this part of your life?  The fact that you never worry in regards to this subject?  It should feel 100% without a doubt something you can count on.  That feeling of certainty is your true self without worry and doubt.  Use this feeling to practice new desires and how it would feel to have them.  Whenever you have a desire you don’t feel you expect will happen go back to that general what works emotion and apply it to your desire.  Match them up to that certain feeling and watch your expectations shift.

Additionally another great exercise to open your awareness and shift your views of expectations is to test it out with something small.  It can be anything from seeing purple shoelaces to a certain set of numbers on a license plate.  This is one of my favorite exercises to watch the law of attraction work its magic quickly.  Pick something you wouldn’t usually notice but is in your daily life.  Tell yourself you will 100% expect to see this thing today.  Believe without a doubt it has to be seen.  You will notice when you are going about your normal day you are more aware that it will show up.  This awareness is your allowance of the universe to bring what you desire into your present moment.  When you see what you have chosen, it should feel exciting.  That excitement and eagerness proves your power to attract, what once was just a thought.  Believing it can happen without doubt and allowing yourself to open your awareness to its delivery are all the steps to take a desire to a reality.

Start by finding something small say you put out the desire to receive an unexpected hug today or that you would see purple shoelaces.  This is very general but helps to show you the power of your expectations.  Practice for the day the expectation you will certainty see purple shoelaces.  Every part of your being believes they will appear and you know you will find them.  You can use anything general in this experiment but make sure it’s something you expect will happen.  The way this desire manifests can happen in unexpected ways.  As an example, someone could wear shoes with purple laces or it could be on sale in a shop.  This is where you practice allowing your desire to happen without controlling how it manifests.

Moving forward as you practice these general expectations for small things in your life and see that shifting your perception works, you can then focus on more specific desires in your life.  You can shift your expectations about yourself and how you would like your life to be without doubt.  When you practice positive expectations and let the universe deliver your desire in the best way that fits into your life, you will see the changes in your life you have wanted.

The 10 Self Empowerment Tools: #1 Your Positive Story

The 10 Self Empowerment Tools: #1 Your Positive Story

Positive Quote With Divine Purpose

The 10 Self Empowerment Tools are a collection of tools you can use to live a more self-empowered life.  When you are in a place of happiness your whole life takes shape.  Love, joy, success and fulfillment all become realities in your life.  In this 10 step guide I will reveal the tools to live a happy, loving, positive thinking life using the concept of self-love.  This path to happiness is available to anyone.  The only thing needed to achieve it, is the desire.

What I am revealing to you will only remind you of what is your natural state of being. We started as happy beings and we decide on a moment to moment basis if we permit that happiness or oppose it.  Worrying about a bad thought or poor choice you have made in your life shouldn’t deter you on this journey to happiness as it can be reversed when you are ready to change your vibration.  Sometimes quickly and at other times it can be a longer transition.

Moving forward, you learn that the momentum you give to any reaction or emotion in your life dictates how easy it is to return to your natural state of being, which is happiness.  The first tool that will help you stay within a positive existence is the way you discuss yourself with others.  More importantly, it is how you describe yourself to yourself.

When we reveal the stories of our lives from a place of positivity, your past becomes the lesson and ignorance is excluded from your future.

When I say story I mean how you describe yourself to others and the way you express how your life has unfolded until this moment.  Let’s take for example, someone who used to hold a very important position at a company.  They felt they worked their entire career to get to that position.  Subsequently, this person had a terrible breakup which then threw them into a deep depression.  As a result of that split their work suffered, and they were let go from their job.

In the aftermath of being fired the conversations with friends would be focused on how their relationship fell apart.  Their energy has now shifted towards every detail of what went wrong in that relationship and how it has destroyed their life.  They talk about how the injustice they have experienced is attributed to the universe not repairing their broken relationship and how nobody at work understood what they had gone through.  Details about how their boss was a horrible person and how that job fired them without cause becomes a regular topic.

We can agree that as a friend or family member we would want to listen to them as they go through this unfortunate time to offer emotional support.  All the while thinking this person doesn’t value themselves, lacks self-confidence, nor do they see the process of how their life got to that point.  If you were to call this person up and ask how they were, they would use words like: terrible, overweight, sad, low, lonely.

The way you tell your story directs how you feel about yourself and how others view you.  Negative stories and negative descriptors attract more of the same.

If you can’t see yourself from a positive perspective how can anyone else see you that way?

Given that like attracts like, a better way of handling this life experience would be to say you parted ways with your past partner as you both were not offering each other the happiness you both deserved.  You could also say you have started a new journey in life with more self-love and more positivity. You could also summarize your job situation as your job didn’t work out but you know that if you could achieve that position in your career before you have the potential to do it again.

Telling your story in this way would uplift you.  You would feel well being and happiness when you discussed the past.  People would describe you as optimistic and enjoy spending time with you.  You would see evidence that those emotions attract more of the same.  Someone would recommend you for a new job based on your great outlook.  If you desired it you see that there would be many options available to you both in love and in your career.

How your story is told sets your emotional outlook.  That outlook attracts the manifestations of those emotions.  Even if you feel it is difficult to tell a positive story while feeling negative, the act of trying will slowly nudge you in the right direction.  A nudge at a time though slow will offer you the momentum to move into a more positive space.  It will help you believe the story you are telling and as a result the universe will deliver what you believe to be true in the speed at which you are ready to receive it.

69th Verse Tao Te Ching

69th Verse Tao Te Ching

69th Verse

There is a saying among soldiers:
I dare not make the first move
but would rather play the guest;
I dare not advance an inch
but would rather withdraw a foot.

This is called
going forward without advancing,
pushing back without using weapons.

There is no greater misfortune
than feeling “I have an enemy”;
for when “I” and “enemy” exist together,
there is no room left for my treasure.

Thus, when two opponents meet,
the one without an enemy
will surely triumph.

When armies are evenly matched,
the one with compassion wins.

When I read this verse of the Tao Te Ching I imagine an internal battle.  Some would call it the enemy within.  In this verse Lao Tzu speaks of “when two opponents meet, the one without the enemy will surely triumph”.  This couldn’t be more true when we look at self-doubt and self-criticism.

This self-criticism comes about from how you view yourself and how you react to others.  If you are feeling that you are not worthy or that you are being judged by another, that is the enemy within.  To be at odds with oneself creates the battle of who you really are vs who your ego tries to convince you that you’re not.

“When armies are evenly matched, the one with compassion wins”.  This line is powerful in that it shows you the path to confront this internal struggle.  When you are feeling self-doubt, judgement, uncertainty go to place of opposite feeling to confront this struggle.  Compassion for yourself which is self-love will bring you back in sync with who you are.

Self-love allows you to do as he describes – “going forward without advancing, pushing back without using weapons”.  Self-love is the treaty to end the battle we struggle with internally.